I am thankful, grateful, surprised, excited and terrified, that I managed to finish one-third of the first challenge now.
Day 10 - Best trip of your life
I am not sure if I have ever had any best trips. Most of them, mostly, consist of half-day long of being in the car, listening to some whatnot on the radio, while my parents are complaining about stuffs all over and over again, either it's about politics or about their acquaintances, co-workers and those people I don't really have the intention to know, nevertheless to care about. If the weather is good, then it is a plus one. If too sunny, like usual, I have nothing much to do. And usually, we don't even stay in the hotels, we just go, and come back as soon as possible. Even if we do check-in some hotels, both my parents will just stay inside the room until we head back home, which is all the time - not mostly, for only one night. Food, we bring from home or bought somewhere. Eventho that lately these patterns have been a bit change, but still, almost the same. Do I feel sad and jealous when I see photos of people with other families having fun on their vacation? I don't even have enough and sufficient vocabulary inside my head just to tell you that, yes, I am. Those pools, swimming pools, theme parks, water parks, whatever good stuffs going on out there, I have never, ever, be in one of those places. Yes, I do sound selfish in here. People will probably tell me that I should just be grateful and thankful for everything instead of just whining like a small spoiled bratty child in here. Whatever, people, my life is not just about fulfilling your requirement of happiness, and if I say that I want to be happy like other kids do, I really mean it.
I still remember when I was a really, really young child where all of us went to the beach, or go to someplace rural where we play with water. It was happy times. But then I have no idea what have got into us, or my parents. They have been busier, and they, changed. I may have some problems with them today and I can't even figure out what is going on with me, it is just that, they aren't like my parents that I used to know. I miss my sister, that is. Kakak wasn't always being very understanding towards me, but I feel good and I can tell her things. Or at least a person on this world that I can tell almost everything. She didn't always understand, but I like her. She listened to me. And yes, it is almost 2 years since she left us, well, physically, but still, it also has been two years since I bottle things up inside me. I feel like sometimes my temper is like this much, like literally a pinch. I have nobody to tell all my problems too. And no, I can't count on my brothers. I told my eldest brother about my problem with MiFi and somehow, my second brother knows about it and he even bought one, either it is intentionally for me or not, I don't care much about that, and somehow, even my father knows about it. If I want to tell everybody about a problem I am having, then I surely will tell everybody in the Whatsapp group about it. I don't have to tell a person which finally explodes it to everybody in the family. Yes it looks like a small stuff but seriously, if people consider this as a small stuff, you really are a one very judgy person. Your world is dark and people hate you.
This post somehow led to something really far-off. I am sorry. I just don't have "the best trip" in my life. I am not that perfect or at least came from a very, functioning family. Night people.
