ten

I am thankful, grateful, surprised, excited and terrified, that I managed to finish one-third of the first challenge now. 

Day 10 - Best trip of your life

I am not sure if I have ever had any best trips. Most of them, mostly, consist of half-day long of being in the car, listening to some whatnot on the radio, while my parents are complaining about stuffs all over and over again, either it's about politics or about their acquaintances, co-workers and those people I don't really have the intention to know, nevertheless to care about. If the weather is good, then it is a plus one. If too sunny, like usual, I have nothing much to do. And usually, we don't even stay in the hotels, we just go, and come back as soon as possible. Even if we do check-in some hotels, both my parents will just stay inside the room until we head back home, which is all the time - not mostly, for only one night. Food, we bring from home or bought somewhere. Eventho that lately these patterns have been a bit change, but still, almost the same. Do I feel sad and jealous when I see photos of people with other families having fun on their vacation? I don't even have enough and sufficient vocabulary inside my head just to tell you that, yes, I am. Those pools, swimming pools, theme parks, water parks, whatever good stuffs going on out there, I have never, ever, be in one of those places. Yes, I do sound selfish in here. People will probably tell me that I should just be grateful and thankful for everything instead of just whining like a small spoiled bratty child in here. Whatever, people, my life is not just about fulfilling your requirement of happiness, and if I say that I want to be happy like other kids do, I really mean it. 

I still remember when I was a really, really young child where all of us went to the beach, or go to someplace rural where we play with water. It was happy times. But then I have no idea what have got into us, or my parents. They have been busier, and they, changed. I may have some problems with them today and I can't even figure out what is going on with me, it is just that, they aren't like my parents that I used to know. I miss my sister, that is. Kakak wasn't always being very understanding towards me, but I feel good and I can tell her things. Or at least a person on this world that I can tell almost everything. She didn't always understand, but I like her. She listened to me. And yes, it is almost 2 years since she left us, well, physically, but still, it also has been two years since I bottle things up inside me. I feel like sometimes my temper is like this much, like literally a pinch. I have nobody to tell all my problems too. And no, I can't count on my brothers. I told my eldest brother about my problem with MiFi and somehow, my second brother knows about it and he even bought one, either it is intentionally for me or not, I don't care much about that, and somehow, even my father knows about it. If I want to tell everybody about a problem I am having, then I surely will tell everybody in the Whatsapp group about it. I don't have to tell a person which finally explodes it to everybody in the family. Yes it looks like a small stuff but seriously, if people consider this as a small stuff, you really are a one very judgy person. Your world is dark and people hate you. 

This post somehow led to something really far-off. I am sorry. I just don't have "the best trip" in my life. I am not that perfect or at least came from a very, functioning family. Night people.

nine

This is going to be a one very short post. Okay, day 9, here it is.

Day 9 - What's in my wallet.

I have been wondering about this question today of what should I write. Okay. Wallet. Tonight let's talk about my wallet. It is a pretty old wallet, anyway. I have been using it for years. My eldest brother gave it to me. 

So, first thing, of course my money. After raya like a month ago I have like quite a lot of money in my wallet. Being 23 and the only one single person in the family is cool as both parents and both my brothers gave me duit raya. Quite a lot of money, I'd have to say. Next, bank receipts, of course. I am a receipt hoarder. I hoard receipts, so hard. Sometimes not only banks but also other receipts. Have no idea why but it feels so important to keep track of things. My Watson membership card. I rarely shop at Watson now so feels like a waste but still, it is quite okay I think. not really a waste. I did received a lot of free gifts from it upon registration. Then my debit card. My driving license. My ID, of course. Then my brother's credit card. Yup. I own a credit card. Deal with it. But I rarely use it and only use it during emergencies, such as when I can't purchase some stuffs from online by using my debit card, so I just borrow the credit card and pay for it later. 

That's all I guess. I used to showcase my photo inside my wallet but then my narcissism decreased a bit so I slid it behind the this one white card so now it's only a white card.  

eight

Day 8 - Five current goals

Not sure how, or why, do I do not even really have a really fixed goal right now. It maybe because of the "post-intern unseen plans" which I am currently having right now. But still, I should make some goals, am I. So, today I have been thinking of what are the goals I am aiming for right now. And maybe, maybe, for now, these goals are something relevant as for now, only. For the future, maybe too. Not sure. 

1 - I want to get fit

Not like fit, muscular, hunky type body. That's too much and too far for me. I really miss it back when I was in my freshman year, second semester to be precise. My belly was like okay, not as big as right now. I am not sure what is the correct or actual word for it. That was when I am still in pretty extreme saving mode. So, yea, I am still thinking of some ways to at least be in a better shape, again, soon. 

2 - I want to rid the "post-intern unseen plans" problem

This could take a tremendous amount of time. I am still unsure of what I will be doing starting this March 2017. I will give a lot of thinking time about this. Weighing all pros and cons and chances regarding this and finally, I will come up with the best solution, and go out of this sort of quarterlife crisis stuff and that's it. I will. I know that I will be. I just do.

3 - Adjusting myself to life-in-internship lifestyle

Because the atmosphere is going to be different. Like so different. I will be living off-campus. Means that, everything is changed. Lifestyle, of course. Cost of living, transportation mode, neighbourhood atmosphere, distance, etc etc, and since this is for my internship, I will have to go out early in the morning and be back home late evening. Office hours, of course. There are a lot of stuffs to think of, and I really, really hope that I could adjust myself as soon as I can.

4 - I want to commit

Or, I want to get rich in The Sims. As I told in previous post that I can get bored so easily where I only play some games for like, 7 days tops. But, I want to try with The Sims. I want to play for as long as I can. I want to get rich. One of the families that I play from the beginning, the Forrest family is now rich and living and Newcrest. Another one I am now is Smith, currently building his money and richness where soon I want him to live in lavishness with his spouse and maybe even have a couple of kids. I don't know, that seems interesting and committable to me.

5 - I want to get published in Thought Catalog

Again, I am stating this. Have no idea how but this is the eighth question in this first challenge. And, if you ask me how am I doing right now, well, so far so good. I do feel that sometimes my motivation is down and I don't feel like writing, or thinking of what to write. But still, don't look for ideas, create them. Just put a little courage, more is better, sit on the chair, stare at the screen, and that's how most of my posts are created. Really, one of my goals now is to be in Thought Catalog. Have no idea why, but that is like one of the things I'd like do now. 

And by the very least, I am now slowly thriving myself towards those goals now. May the very best of motivation and productivity, stay with me now, and always.

seven

Day 7 - Your 5 favourite songs

Since I am in holidays now, I tend to listen to The Chainsmokers. Well actually this whole year I have been actively listening to them, ever since I first listened to Roses last year. Taylor Swift's Blank Space used to be my favourite song, well it still is, actually, it is just that I am now more into listening to The Chainsmokers. So, uh, top five songs. Let's see what do I have in my current playlist now. Not to forget their latest one together with Halsey, Closer. During this time of holiday, I spend almost all of my time at home, so I just listened to Roses, of course, Closer, cause it's new and addictive, American Author's What We Live For, I have been listening to this one since the last weeks of the past semester, during this time also I like to listen to Børns' Past Lives and finally, Photograph by Ed Sheeran.

The list will surely be changed anytime soon. Maybe not for Photograph. I tend or, like, to listen to it while I feel sad and missing my sister. I listened to it when it's malam raya, or when I feel like to listen to it. I actually have some specific song for specific events. When it's hari raya, I like to listen to these certain songs, when it's holiday, these sort of songs, when I am busy, doing some work, or in the morning, certain songs. 

Just another short post from me. Tomorrow I am going to talk about something lengthy. 

six

Tonight, I am going to talk about fear. But I am going to keep this as brief as I can because I just finished downloading and installing Sims 4 this evening so I don't want to get myself to be so sad as it'll just spoil the game.

Day 6 - What are you afraid of

Long story short, safe to say, I am afraid of failing. Well, everybody hates to fail, but I can say that failing is my greatest fear. The greatest of this, is how I am so scared of failing in life. Which brings me to many other possible elements, such as education, career, relationship, financial, etc etc. Education, guess I've talked about it last night. Career, still unknown. But I am attracted to what Daria said about career. I'll just take this from an episode called "Gifted," in the quote section.

Teacher: Daria, what about your goal?
Daria: Uhmmm. I don't have any.
Teacher: Oh come, Daria! You must have some goal.
Daria: My goal is not to wake up at forty with the bitter realization that I've wasted my life in a job I hate, because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.

This made me to rethink about all of my plans, whether long term, or short term. And whether it is even related to career or not. I don't want to wake up at 40 and feel that I spent such a vast of the duration of my youth into something that I am not capable of enjoying. This is like everybody's goal in life. I don't want to turn into other people and be sad when I get old, or have some remorse when I am on my death bed. Some time ago I stumbled upon on this one article from TopInfo Post that talks about the regrets people usually have when they are about to pass away, told by a nurse.

I am not an overachiever, which pretty much explains that I am scared of being a failure. I believe in the myth that everything has to be as planned, unless it turns out to be better than I expected. So, long story short, I am afraid of failing.

five

It is now 10:04 pm. The fact that today's question is somehow very, very good and suitable for today is why I am quite happy now. Tomorrow I'll be going out and have some sushi. Can't wait to have them posted in my instagram tomorrow. So stay tuned for it. 

Day 5 - Your proudest moment

Contrary to popular belief, I actually have multiple proudest moments. Or proud moments. First, take a look at this Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Source: simplypsychology.com

Safe to say, my proudest moment is when I achieve my self-fulfillment needs. But I am not sure where I really achieve my full potential, including creative activities. But the feeling of accomplishment also can be considered as one. Well, today is one of them, the proudest moment. Thank god I for my final exam result. First class it is. Pretty much, much better than I had expected. However I scored a B in Knowledge Management, quite frustrated of it but still, overall, I am satisfied. If my calculation so far is correct, and let's stay I managed to score A for practicum, then insyaAllah, I'll be graduating as a first class student. Amin. 

I am not into sports, so I have never had the feeling of succeed in physical games or anything like that. I am also not competitive in such very serious stuffs like indoor games or even computer games, video games. Internet/real world fame, also no. Career achievement, still a bit far for me now. I mean, it is like, being in class and perform in my exams, tests, quizzes, or academic, in general, is like something that I should totally excel. I don't have many (or any) talents, so this is all I got. This explains why I should perform very, very well in academic, as this is the only way for me to survive. So, each time I excel in my academic, I feel proud. Proud and grateful. I won't be in this position where I am right now if it is not with the influence of a lot of people in my life then, and now.

four

Four is pretty much my favourite number, anyway. I was born in April and I am the fourth of my siblings. Okay, so, I was quite inactive for a few days. 3 days, to be precised. Thursday, I was busy with the preparation of the big event for Friday. And yesterday it was like the aftermath and I was like so tired to do anything serious on the computer. I just downloaded all full episodes of first season of Stranger Things and oh my god, have to say it, I love it. So now, like I said on previous post, this one is going to be quite depressing. Now let's talk career.

Day 4 - Your dream job

Okay. I admit it. I am 23, with roughly no dream job. I am not sure how, or at least why, but somehow I am now at the thought of no plans ahead of me. This is my first time of having no plan of what I am going to and/or where I am to go, and who I am going to be in the near future. It is August by tomorrow, and about 7 months from now, my internship is going to end, and after that? So far no, nothing. Inside my head, it is like weeping, crying with this sort of thinking. I stated earlier that I may want to be in writing, but then like usual, other thoughts start to creep inside and I start to be as pessimist as I could and then, that's it. But I do want to be in Thought Catalog, that's for sure. But still, as for now, I am seriously looking for clues of what's coming as soon as March came. 

This is just a short post. And tomorrow, 1st of August, is the release date for my final exams result. The final exam of the first degree. Really hope for a first class or at least get into the Dean's List. Amin.

Things will get better, that's for sure. They just do, because if it is not okay, then it is not the end. 

three

Okay, I have been thinking about this since yesterday. Not that I have no idea of what to write, but I am just confused. But still, let's to this.

Day 3 - Your favourite quote

I don't really have one, actually. But I have a lot, where I only really think of them and how true they are in certain circumstances. Such as Murphy's Law, I am not really sure this counts as a quote or not. Other's like "if it is not okay then it is not the end." Somehow at this point my head is empty with some of the quotes I always think of.

However, there is one that I have been holding onto ever since I was in school. "Insatiable satisfaction." I am not sure where I got it but still, it means a lot, I think. I pretty much have been holding onto this one since years, and yes, safe to say that it helps me a lot. Especially about no giving up so easy and how we shouldn't stop only at one point. As normal human, all of us do realise that greed is among the one which has been all along since the early human civilisation which helped people to keep on and on do stuffs. Pardon me for my bad grammar.

I guess that's all. Not really sure if that answers the question. But still, there's no right or wrong in here. Okay, so, get ready for something depressing tomorrow.

two

OK. Day 2. I have been brainstorming about this question since last night. Late night, because I was playing The Sims 4 before that. I just moved the family into bigger house lot so I can manage them in much easier fashion as I no longer have to keep on changing from level 1 to level 2, vice versa, so many times. Okay, back in the topic. So far I only managed to have 17. It is hard when I only have myself to refer to about myself. If I asked my friends then I am pretty sure they will only talk about the bad side instead of the other one. Anyway, this post is all about me, and no, I don't want to talk something general like how I am in love with food, sleep, selfie and how I hate this stuff or that stuff, I want this to be as unique as it could, so it is going to be long. Well, could be one of the longest posts in here. Buckle up. 

Day 2 - 20 facts about you

1 - I am a proud INTJ

I'm going to start with a one very ironic sentence: everybody likes to be unique, so am I. First is a little explanation of this. INTJ is one of the 16 personality traits coined out by Myers Briggs. This trait is like one of the rarest and most advanced and "strategically capable personality type," according to 16personalities. Although that sometimes I can be classed as an INTP, or INFJ, but so far, after about 3 times, or 4 of answering the test, I still get INTJ as my result. Sure that my percentage is quite low on this I (introversion) - 6%, N (intuition) - 14%, T (thinking) - 10%, J (judging) - 6%, but still, sometimes even myself is also get confused by my personality type. Being this type, you will observe below some of the hard truth and facts about me which I am pretty much struggling/enjoying in my daily life.

2 - I am an ambivert

Most of people these days are struggling to call themselves nerds or geeks or an introvert because of course, being one of them is cool. I have done lots, a lot of personality tests to see whether I am an extrovert or an introvert. I am both. It is like, I am an extrovert, but not too strong, and also not too strong in the introvert department. I like to talk to people, some people, loudly, I can go to parties, events which have a lot of people, which sometimes I avoid, I like small talks, but at the same time, I'd like to be alone too, I need to be in my room, alone, to recharge myself after meeting a lot of people and do things that introvert usually do, except I am not an avid reader, or some sort of lonesome person. Introverts aren't lonesome, but they are too unique to be around people. Their heads are fills thoughts which makes them tend to be inside their own world. But starting last year I started reading some novels and I even started purchasing novels with my book voucher. Some people call this an "outgoing introvert" or any other names but I am pretty sure they are just talking about ambivert. 

3 - I tend to judge people

A lot. I judge people a lot. Too much. Some of my friends usually call me robot face, heartless heart, dead inside, empty corpse. But inside my head, I think too much, especially in calling people out inside my head. Well, I used to try my best to stop judging people by their first impression shown to me. If some people believe on love on the first sight, I believe in what people these days called as annoying on the first sight. Whether I judge a person by their looks (of course I am that sinful), or judge a person by their behaviour. I do this secretly, of course, or I just abruptly shockingly share such thoughts with my friends - and of course they hate me for that. I am just another imperfect person, aren't I. If people keep telling me to stop judging a book by it's cover, then forgive me, for I have sinned on this one. 

4 - I tend to say harsh truth

Why I include the word 'harsh' instead of just go to truth? Because it is necessary in here. People should tell truth. There, I say it. Somebody should tell people that truth is something necessary unless it is to protect the person from any harm. This is not just a case of hiding the ugly truth and expose the beautiful lies. No. Well, I hate myself in this too. But if it needs to be said, then it needs to be said. Especially if it will bring some improvement to one self. The downside, people that don't know me will say that I am mean person. I get that a lot. People who do, they will get closer to me. I like it when people ask my opinion on stuffs, just because for them, I am reliable enough to tell them what they need to hear, instead of what they want to hear. I am not trying to be unique or different in here, I mean, this is what I heard from other people about me, anyway.

5 - I overanalyse stuffs

Wonder why I said earlier that this post is going to be long? Or maybe, super long? Because I like to see pretty things. Why do I like to see pretty things? So that I won't be judged by other people or at least me, in some any negative way. If people say that we can't control what people think and talk about us? What if I choose to believe that nobody is perfect and yes, we can control what people think and talk. Google about that.

So that it is, I overanalyse stuffs. I think about things repeatedly. That's what have been going through in my mind since yesterday's evening after I found out that I should be writing about facts about me as today's challenge. I usually end my inner war or my baffling thoughts about stuffs by googling things up so that I can just rest myself for the day. Unless there's some judging happens, so yes, stuffs like that happens to people in case you are wondering about it. And actually, this is some sort of INTJ stuffs, accoding to intjvision, "INTJs also believe that they can understand their own personality better than others. It‘s in INTJ nature to deeply analyze their inner world. Most people can‘t look at themselves from 3rd person perspective and analyze their actions or thoughts." I am not really such a developed INTJ, anyway. I am not that organised, or at least not yet, I do wish that I can be such developed, advanced, mastermind INTJ, so I can deal with people, and myself, mostly, in much better fashion.

6 - I am scared of my own potential
It's true. I haven't thought that I am going to be this far back then 10 years ago. Well, perseverance, and other qualities which I thought I never have have driven me to be in this position. Of course there are some flaws too but at least, hey, here I am. I always thought that I am going to end up in much lower position than this. Not to say that I am at the high position or anything like that, but still, thinking about it, makes me scared of my own potential, and what kind of person can I become. A bit of disclaimer, I am not trying to be a very down to earth person in here or wanting people to tell me about how I should sell myself higher or anything, it is just that, this is what have I been thinking. And I am quite sure that there are a lot of people dealing with this same thought too.

7 - I am competitive
I don't like the stress when competing with other people, or at least competing with myself when I am trying to get out of bed in the morning and do the stuffs in my invisible to do list. But I like the feeling of winning stuffs, get some recognition and being praised for it. Some things that aren't even up to the stage where it is necessary or needed to compete of, well still, I am still competing for it. The downside, I always make sure that I am aware of other people's status or rank of the particular stuff I am trying to be competing into. And when I'm losing, that is when my spirit is a bit crushed and I start to fix myself, and be like number 6.

8 - I love cats
Cats. One of the most majestic creatures ever created. They are cute, mindless, funny, weird, evil-looking, feline. There's more description about them, anyway. This is like going to be the shortest paragraph in here because I just want to say that cats are love. And I love them. I am trying my best to list some facts about me, and I am also trying all I can to be as unique and as specific as I can be in this post, but still, cats are too important enough not be left out. Cats are life.

9 - I have countless of failed plans
Now it is time a be a bit sad. Failed plans. I used to score so bad in my test which made me to sit, lean back against the wall and just stare into the abyss. The abyss of my failures. The nights where I just stared into the ceiling, thinking about the past and the future are almost, countless. It is like, I should go to a cemetery, set down a tombstone and write down "here lies the failed dreams, plans and my hopes," just like it is done to Squidword. Plus that soon, I will finish my undergrad study in this coming March, and so far, I am now in the early phase of quarterlife crisis, and I am just waiting for the real showdown by the time I am out of my college's main gate. The part of how to get into the second part of the crisis is what I am dealing right now. I am grateful that both my brothers are now latter phases. My eldest is 31 with 2 girls and the second one is 29 and expecting in early 2017 anyway. Safe to say, they have their lives figured out by 30. Me? I am now at that part where everybody generally feels bitter about themselves. Will talk about this again soon, anyway.

10 - I am a person with safety nets
I hate that feeling of helplessly falling down, whether this is metaphorically falling down, or literally. This leads to why I keep on overanalysing stuffs and stop relying so much on others when it comes to making decisions, especially the big ones. Like this one I am dealing now, or at least 2 weeks ago regarding my accommodation for the next six months starting this September for my internship. I will be interning at UUM but somehow starting this semester there will be no more accommodation provided by the university, means that we, the internship students, will have to look for outside accommodation. So we are still trying to rent a room inside the campus, so while waiting for whether we are going to get a room which will be known by September, maybe, we also will rent a house or room outside the campus. So now, we have both. It takes a lot of work and stuffs to be worried about. But still, this shows how far I am willing to go for safety.

11 - I get bored easily
I am not sure if get bored and get tired of are the same thing. But what's for sure, I get bored so easy. Like, very easy. Let's say, a game. For example, Clash of Clan. I used to play this game on my brother's iPad on his account. I was like "okay this game is good I'm going to play this for like months or at least weeks. This game is addictive and I can't stand the idea of not keep checking it from every now and then as every single thing about it is important." And that's it, a week after, I stopped playing it. The same goes with The Sims. I just started playing again last night, because I played it like a week during last Ramadhan, also only lasted for one week. I played it since morning, till late evening, then at night. Like almost the whole day. I thought I will keep on playing this game for maybe months but no, 7 days and that's it. I even joked with myself that I was only going to play this game for 7 days but then I lived in denial. Same goes with movies and tv series. I only watch once. No matter how good the movie is, once, and enough. That's it. No more. I delete it to save space for more movies. Unless for Interstellar because number 1, the movie is good, since I really like outer space movies, number 2, because the first time I watched it, the resolution was so bad and recently I rewatched it because of better film quality, well I watched it on HBO so no big deal, number 3 because I need additional watching due to it is hard to comprehend on the first watch. Plus it was accidental. It was like another ordinary evening, and it was there, so that is why.

12 - I like to improvise myself
This is why I am writing again. I want to improve myself. I dig life pro tips. I dig ways to increase my productivity. I keep on checking what apps to download in order to help me ease my life. I believe that there is no limit in becoming the best person on earth with high productivity rate. I even downloaded multiple apps on my iPhone just to make sure I keep reading more and more articles. Some of them are Pocket, God I love this app. This app is like among the first app I download since the first time I got in my hand a smartphone. Secondly is Flipboard. Good interface, easy to use. It is better to flip this app rather than flipping the old physical newspaper. Blergh. Who reads newspaper anymore God it's 2016. Wake up. Anymore, I used to use this app for reading top news. But, for personalised articles, I really, really loved Prismatic. Too bad that it's no longer available nowadays. I used to Prismatic even before it had its own iOS app. I am not sure about Android. But I used to read a lot of articles I like on Safari on an iPad. Anyway, Flipboard also good to be read on an iPad. So, read an article, keep yourself informed. Maybe not with new and latest stuffs, but at least I can learn more about stuffs I like.

13 - I like to keep track of things
I almost install a keylogger for my laptop, because I want to keep track and see what have I typed on the keyboard of this laptop. I like to see things, especially keeping a track and record of them. I have been using Moves app since 2013. It tracks my steps, my calorie, my distance of walking, and places I went throughout the day. I mean, the first time I found this app is when I first using my first smartphone, Alcatel. The source to collect the data was very, very limited but still, the work was done gracefully. I just love this app. Even now, I am still using it. I almost purchase a Xiaomi wrist band because I want to see my heart beat rate and I want my sleep to be tracked. But then, the biggest turn off is that I am not, really not active in sports so it is quite irrelevant for me to buy, and use this gadget. Last time I checked the price was very cheap, like only 60 ringgit in Lazada. But, yea. I even use Do Button from IFTTT to track places I go, but still it can only be done manually. I also used this app to track time, and stuffs like that. So yes, I like to keep track of things. I like to be informed.

14 - I am in love/hate relationship with Triple M
First, let me explain what is Triple M. Triple M refers to Midnight Mental Meltdown. I just recently had this like a few nights ago. Triple M happens when I watched a really mind-crushing movie with high level of concentration of feelings till after the end of the movie, I will have to spare a few minutes staring into the monitor or tv, or ceiling, just to release myself from such mind-twisted movie I just watched. This is not only for some movies with very good plot twisting, but also if the movie ends with a really sad ending, or too happy. This is when I will ponder a lot of things, with multiple thoughts start to play inside my head, all and all. The situation ends when I fall asleep and I may still feel the effect of last night's Triple M on the day after.

15 - Actually wanted to major in psychology, or at least in any field in social science.
But now I ended up in Computer Science. Not really computer science, only in IT. That's like a pinch of computer science. But still it is so far from what I targeted which is psychology. After STPM, I tend to stay at home and read articles about humans. Anything about human. I like to read about human behaviour and stuffs like that, and also how our brain works, how to shift our mindset from one state to another, about our sleep pattern, about the way we talk and the way we walk, the way we sleep and how all these things work with one another to influence other stuffs. I mean, it is amazing to learn about ourselves. But then, my dad weren't agree with me pursuing my study in psychology, which somehow I end up in IT. Well, everything has its own silver lining. And I am still waiting from this one.

16 - I am not a really good driver
Safe to say I am not really excel in driving. Whether it's a bike or car, still, have no idea why. I think it is because I am a pretty careless person. And I am not really skillful person on this area. But I learn to ease things up by listening to radio and sing along to some familiar songs. I like to drive in a very relaxing situation. I try to ease the tensions by having fun in the car and befriend the nervousness. Still, not that I am so nervous, it is just that people are predictable during driving. Some drives too fast, some too slow, some too weird, while some makes me just this much before I make a petition to ban the person from driving on the road and stop breeding and polluting the earth with their descendants. God I hate those kind of people.

17 - Quite a perfectionist
I think that I already discussed this one above, but not in a very detailed manner. Safe to say that I am a perfectionist. I do stuffs carefully as I want the input to be beautiful. Everything has to be the same. The size, the length, because I believe that the first impression is important, so things have to be beautiful. My assignments, reports, word-related stuffs should be checked first before submission. I have to proof read for misspellings, then the grammar, then the usage of vocabulary, and then the sizes, indent, alignment, margins of the fonts and paragraphs. Most people don't do this. This is why I mostly refuse to trust most people in handling the final phase of the work. Same goes in cooking. Not really cooking, but in serving the food. I will make sure that the plate is clean and big enough for the food. I will use the most suitable spoon and fork and other cutlery in handling those food. Because food is important and food is life. Most people don't hold this principle like I do, because most people don't matter. That's why.

18 - I was a fat kid
Not to say that my body right now is very, very in a good shape but at least it is not as how it used to be back when I was in my early teenage phase. I used to be so fat that my weight even reached 80+ kilogram while my height was only 160+ cm. Seriously. But somehow, puberty happened, I guess. Starting 16, my body somehow got taller. When I was 17, my height was 171 cm. My weight at the time was 68 kg if I'm not mistaken. This situation continued until I was 21, my height was still 171 cm, but my weight was like 58 kg. I was quite skinny. But then, due to unhealthy eating habit and excessive eating, of course, I am now 73 kg. Not anymore skinny, but not anymore as big as I was in secondary school. I started to expand when I was 11 where I had my breakfast for almost everyday, nasi lemak and fried chicken. God it tasted so good back then.

19 - I am a pretty detailed and precise in making decision
Or how to say it? Well, it is like, when I have two or more options, I will start to think deeper. This is some sort of usual way in making decision. First, I will ask my first impression, which one of these options weighs more. I don't always trust my intuition, but still, first impression is important. Then, I will go for lists of pros and cons. Usually I will start with cons as from there, I will have brighter insights from the options I opt to choose. Then I will go with pros. Which one is more and which one is less. After that I will focus on, guess what, overthinking. Or overanalysing. I will recalculate stuffs and see which one is better and which one is not. I will conduct some research whether it is by google or ask from people who may or may not know about it. Sometimes these ways can actually help pushing us to the right choice. And actually, there still many other ways which happen secretly in our heads which can bring us to clearer state of conscious, thus finally, we will choose the right decision.

20! - This has been lasted for a few hours now. The last fact, I am going to talk about the type of movies that I like
Let's say, genres. Of course, comedy. With a bit of romance, maybe. Mix of the two, it will be romcoms, and I like romcoms too. Action, not really. But lately, I found out that I am also liking the other genres too, like thriller, and psychology-themed movie. Or maybe alien-invades-earth theme like Oblivion, or any other alien related like District 9. Or some weird, mind twisting time travelling movie like Predestination. And also some other more movies which I can't really remember their titles, since I deleted the movies I watched from my storage. TV series, of course I watch HIMYM, Friends, Suburgatory, Cougar Town, Teen Wolf, Scream. Soon I think I'll be watching Netflix's latest, Stranger Things. But as for now, I am pretty much hooked into HBO's latest, The Night Of. The suspense is real.

So I guess that is it. It is raining outside and I should be heading back. Thank god tomorrow's question is just okay. But I do feel satisfied with today's post. It has been a while since I am not writing this long. Forgive me for any grammatical errors and/or weird sentence structure. I do not proof read this one. 

one

It looks like that the question is too long to be put as the title of this post, so instead of that, I will just put the question number. Or maybe the number of day of the challenge. So today, as for starter, let's talk about this blog's name.

Day 1 - Your blog's name

Okay. My blog's name. My blog's name is literally my own name. It has been this way since 2010 if I am not wrong. I started blogging in 2007 where the name used to be 'meontheair' which is quite long. So, Me On The Air was quite active back in the day for maybe a year or two. Initially I planned to name my blog as simple as 'My Life' and not as corny as Me On The Air. But my sister somehow got the title first so I want to make a little difference than hers so that's it. 

A few years after that after, after a quite long of hiatus then I migrated this site from my old Google account to a newer one which makes it much easier for me to write. If I'm not wrong then it was on that time when I changed the name to my name, Hazari Zulkefli. I actually have 4 names, first name is of course Muhammad and my middle name is for usual, real life acquaintance and my third name is Hazari and surname, or in my case is my father's name which is Zulkefli. Safe to say that Hazari is my pen name, or my Internet name. Just last night that I thought of using a different and new name as my pen name but still, it is too complicated to think of, unnecessary and Hazari seems fine to me, although that almost every my online activity can be viewed just by searching for Hazari Zulkefli. Well I do that. I mean everybody does too, right. Who doesn't google their own name? Seriously.

So, maybe I will change this blog's name? Maybe no. I am pretty much out of ideas, anyway. I like the idea of keep changing the blog's description, or maybe a mission, or a slogan which can be seen at the very top of this page. I am still not ready or maybe won't even be ready to put my name at the top of the page. That's like putting my selfie as the lockscreen and/or home screen wallpaper. That's the way I see it, anyway. Maybe from time to time, especially on some big occasion like new year's, or maybe my birthday, or maybe when I just feel like it, then the slogan of this blog will be changed. 

In a nutshell, I am not creative enough to generate some good name for my blog, instead of that I just insert my name. It is still a good name, though. So, day one, complete.

challenge

Hi. Just a short and quick update. InsyaAllah I will start the challenge by tomorrow, July 25th. I have found the challenge on Pinterest, pinned from blogher.com. The questions are rather cheesy, actually. But for starters, yea, it won't I think. I'd rather start with something funny and relaxing, which can be considered as easy, which is good.

I'll be finishing this challenge in 30 days time. But since my family will be having a raya ceremony together with tahlil this coming Friday, plus all 3 of us are scheduled to visit both of our brothers in Selangor for a couple of days next weekend, I may be taking a few day off. Or maybe I will just write some while I have free time. But still, flexibity is key.

I am actually writing this post while lying on the couch on Notes app while waiting for Blogo app to finish download, since starting a few months ago, somehow the official Blogger apo for iOS has been taken down. I thought there would be a revamp, at least to its official iOS app, but it turns out to be the other way round. Like seriously, Google?

So, long story short, I am now looking forward to start off this challenge and I hope, really really hope that this kind of feeling and motivation stays until the end of this challenge, and by that time, I can start making blogging as one of my habits again, so that I can keep on writing, and writing. If things go as planned, I hope to start working on something for Thought Catalog by the end of this year. And as for idea, yes, I do need a lot of ideas and countless times of brainstorming while weighing all the pros and cons relating to it. However, it's still a longshot. But still, like I said earlier, it is good to have a goal, again.

And regarding the question, I will post the question when I write about it. I will post all of the questions by the end of this challenge. So yeah, good night, and all the best for me.

Anyway this is my Pinterest.